Benefits of Relationship Therapists for Marriage
In the case that challenges have been encountered within the couple, knowing how to orient oneself, is fundamental to obtaining positive results.
Depending on the nature of the personal and/or interpersonal difficulties that one may experience within the couple, the approach to marriage help may vary.
- Definition of couples therapy
- Possible approaches to couples therapy
- When & whom to consult
Tom Caplan provides an update.
What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples Therapy is a therapeutic approach to relational therapy (between a therapist and the couple – or spouses taken separately). It aims to establish (or restore) healthier, balanced, and stable functioning, within the couple.
Personality or value judgments will be put aside. Each member of the couple, will need to become aware of their own mindset, habits and patterns, in order to implement actions that will lead to a more satisfactory relationship.
Different approaches and therapies exist. The ultimate goal is to obtain a better understanding of each partner, as well as to improve and open up communication, and to determine any compromises that may need to be made.
The therapist will nearly act as an unbiased witness to the couple.
Finally, couples therapy is different from sex therapy (or sexual therapy), as well as marriage counseling. It provides an essential and broad approach to married life or to long-term relationships outside of marriage. Initially, time will largely be invested into understanding each individual, and the issues at hand, prior to discussing details such as the couple’s sex life.
For example, each member of the couple will disclose their professional life, availability, attitudes towards family members, whether the couple participates in leisure activities, and certain critical items relating to their children, if applicable.
Why Couples Therapy?
The reasons for seeking couples therapy may differ for each person within the couple. However, if one or both members of the couple are suffering, it is recommended that you consult a professional.
Why, you ask?
Any form of psychological and/or emotional suffering that persists over the course of time requires outside help.
Each member of the couple may also be accompanied by certain serious symptoms (depression, addiction, etc.). Couple problems, or crises within the couple, are inevitable and “normal”. Although it is less common, couples therapy can even be used preventatively, to maintain and improve relationships, communication, and mental health!
Oftentimes, relationships may seem to be in relatively good shape. However, certain “crises” may become more serious if they are not quickly identified, diagnosed and addressed. Particularly, if one or both partners feel neglected or “forgotten” in their suffering.
How to Choose Your Therapist?
There are countless types of couples therapists, couples psychologists, sexologists, and conjugal counselors, which are available to you. In short, different approaches to conjugal therapy are available. However, it is not always easy to navigate the situation and find your way.
Finding a professional to talk to, is often critical to finding real solutions, and obtaining proper support.
It can be difficult to find someone to confide in about your difficulties, marital problems, psychological health, and roadblocks. You should choose a therapist that you feel comfortable with; a competent, certified professional (not a friend or family member). A neutral party will actively listen to everything, without judgment or conformity.
Once you have selected a therapist, you should no longer feel alone, and you should feel heard and well-advised.
What Are the Main Causes of a Couple Crisis?
Factors that may impact the couple, include:
Miscommunication: projection of fears and anxiety on the partner, or poor listening, which makes it feel as if there is an ongoing ‘dialog of the deaf’;
Relationship issues: A member of the couple may have issues with certain family members, friends, or past relationships.
Toxic dialog: A way of thinking about the role of one’s partner, and devaluing it.
Fear of being judged, mocked, misunderstood, or hurting others: This fear or anxiety may lead to the absence of exchange in the couple, reducing communication to practical purposes only.
Each of these obstacles are often repeated, and may become predictable, as they all carry negative feelings (weariness, disinterest in one’s partner, boredom), and include periods of aggression, reproach and/or attempts to devalue one’s partner.
It is often at this time in the couple’s life that it may be wise to call upon a therapist (outside help), to highlight the internal mechanisms of the couple, and the functioning of each person.
Although it is difficult to recognize that the couple is “going wrong”, it is an essential step.
By understanding why everyone can suffer in the current state of affairs, therapy will aim to determine whether the couple’s projects unite the partners, whether separation is to be considered, or if a new balance can be found.
Benefits of Relationship Therapists for Marriage Help
The first important initiative concerning marriage help, is generally to restore a possible dialog between the partners.
Also, the goal of therapy is not only to rekindle a flame of love in the present moment, but also to ensure the serenity of the couple’s life over the long-term. Once reunited, the couple will feel stronger and will be more inclined to listen to each other to discuss possible problems, as well as to mitigate potential breakups that may otherwise occur going forward.
Often, couples therapy is adopted to avoid an untimely breakup. Couples therapy is often sought out before a wedding, to avoid wasting time and money on any preparation, and to ensure that both members of the couple are entirely comfortable with each other, and understand each other before proceeding in a lifelong journey together. As a result of therapy, if either partner wishes to end the relationship, the cost of putting together an entire wedding is avoided. In this way, the therapy aims to restore the couple’s love by resolving current problems.
Finally, sessions with your therapist can also be a place of negotiation, where the couple define new rules together, recognizing their commonalities, but also their differences.
It allows individuals to confront each other, recognize different needs, and above all, understand that there are always choices, solutions and compromises that are available.
Oftentimes, a couple consults a therapist too late, when the situation has already escalated beyond repair. Your best bet is to seek help right away, once you notice that you are going through any kind of turbulence. This makes it possible to start the healing process on sound footing, before the situation worsens, and becomes even more complicated or disagreeable.
Don’t wait until the last moment. If you feel that your couple is having difficulties, marriage help in the form of therapy will prevent things from getting worse, regardless of the circumstances or the severity of the situation. You deserve to enjoy your relationship to the full extent. If you and your partner are motivated and willing to fight for what was once extremely valuable, enjoyable and important to you, Tom Caplan’s door is always open.
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